If you read the post below, good for you. I'm not crazy I promise you. Not a stalker or anything like that either. I had a stalker before and it didn't end on the best terms. I'm just infatuated with one person right now and I'm ready for those feelings to past so I can get on these other "hoes". I call em "hoes" because I don't think getting involved with anyone is in my best interest. I get tooo sprung per say haaaa.
Deadass though this isn't a post about love. This is about me losing my mind. Why do I do it? Is it fun to do all this shit and feel like shit in the morning? In a way, yes, in a way, no. I feel the best when I'm "influenced" by ish that I shouldn't be taking. Bad part is, I want to quit doing it and just go on with my life but I know that won't happen for a LONG time. I'm wylin cuz I'm young. No man/women can blame an 18 year old for having the time of their lives. I would party tonight if I didn't have priorities but unfortunately my mother raised me better than she thought.
Truthfully, I need a slut in my life now. Hear me out. I'm in love with this one girl but she could give a DAMN about me. I understand that. Actually I don't understand that shit because I feel I could provide for her but I feel she is scared to let me in. That or ashamed that I am a so called "nigga". Whatever though. The slut will close this void I have in my heart for the time being because I'm telling you guys, through all this wylin out and doing all the partying, I feel even lonier than before. That's why I can't stop partying. I have to find that "thing" that makes me happy and that I make happy.
I want to be known as Mr. Rager. I don't care if it's Cudi's name or not. I feel I'm like him most days anyway. I have reallly started not to give a FUCK what anyone says about me. I love it too. I'm developing into the person that I'm supposed to be and I can say I love and hate who the future Mr. Rager is going to be. Wylin cuz I'm young. I might hit up Starkville this weekend. I really need a slut to come out of the blue and let me do my thing. Don't judge me for the way I think. If you do though, I could give a fuck less. Sorry, I'm RAGING MY ASS OFF RIGHT NOW. and yes mother, I do have to get my point across by cursing. People don't understand when you talk calm and normal.
I'm off to listen to more Charles Hamilon love songs and think about the chick they call concon. I'm pathetic I know, but these feelings won't go away. Eventually they will, but for now I will just let them take control of me. I'm getting your bike shawty :) Believe that....